so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
