Duck Duck Cougar?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
