Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
