I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
