It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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