***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
