this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
