bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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