I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
