Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
