What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
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Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
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Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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