Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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