Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
