i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
