Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
