based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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