could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
