well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
