she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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