Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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