wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
