Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
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