Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
