He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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