I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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