Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
