planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
