Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My first STD was from a foam party
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
