yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
