yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
