My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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