I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
