Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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