are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
