haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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