i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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