I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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