just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
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