dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
