i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize