Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
