You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
