oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
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Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
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We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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