Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
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you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
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Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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