Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
