Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So much rum. So many feels.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
