TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
