It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
