what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
