I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
