The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
