a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
