ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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