i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
