just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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