no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
