you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Less talking, more tequila
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
