So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
