we have pet lesbian snakes
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
