should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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