Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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