Who wears a wallet chain?!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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