Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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