All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize